How To Say No...To Your Boss!
3 Easy Steps To Say No When It Matters Most
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The O’Daily has been dropping a lot of k-NO-wledge lately: how to decide if something is a yes or no and how to actually say no.
We saved the best for last. The pin-no-cle. Grand fi-no-le. A culmi-no-tion. (Ok, I’m done.)
Today we talk about how to say no to your boss…or anyone else who materially impacts your livelihood and well-being and you don’t want to piss off!
Your boss mentions a project, asks you to own something, sends over an event for you to attend. Everyone’s familiar with this scenario.
The reality is sometimes a direct “no” isn’t a good option. Here’s what I like to do instead.
Put this request in the context of the other work you’re doing help the company. Explain what you’re currently working on and ask how the new item compares to those items.
Ways To Say It:
Here are the top 3 items I’m working on right now.
List items + relevant dates. Explain why.
Where does <thing you just mentioned> land related to those?
You may find that your boss is brainstorming, thinking about something 6 months from now, or realizes this project is not important compared to other things you’re working on.
Or they may say that it’s the #1 priority. That’s cool. Proceed to Step 2…
A “time sensitive” request could mean minutes or weeks. A “report” could be a Google Doc or might be a polished slide deck with hours of research. Make sure you understand what your boss is thinking regarding the amount of work and when.
Ways To Say It:
How quickly do we need this?
Does next week work or do you need it sooner?
Will it include XYZ, only ABC, or something else?
Once you know the extent of the new priority, it’s time for Step 3…
Get super clear on what will not get done and get agreement from your boss on that plan. Including recommendations on how to rearrange can be helpful and show leadership.
Know your audience though. Some bosses do better with open ended questions and directly crafting the solution.
Ways To Say It:
I’ll push Project A to next week so we can tackle Project B this week - does that work?
Do you have thoughts on how to decrease Project C to keep it on time with the new items? One idea is XYZ.
How should we reprioritize things?
What should we cut? I’d recommend A or B. What do you think?
Your boss has helped you shape the new plan. No one ever had to no. You simply reprioritized, adjusted scope, and changed timelines. Woohoo!
If you consistently get wishy-washy answers like
Guess what? Your boss needs to work on their ability to say no! (Or not be a workaholic jerk.) They are not clear on priorities or unable to say no. The lack of focus is overflowing to you.
Is this an issue across the organization or unique to your boss? A one-time exception or ongoing problem? Analyze the situation to see if it’s something you can change, live with, or need to move on from.
Two common customer scenarios where you can discuss priorities instead of saying no:
Customers often have great ideas that you hadn’t considered. It’s also enlightening when talking about tradeoffs to find out what they don’t care about.
I’ve used this framework when I’ve bitten off too much and need an outside perspective to help me reign things in.
Can you look at this list of projects and share thoughts, based on what you see in the business, on what I can drop or move to next quarter?
Rigor CEO Craig Hyde could sort out in 10 minutes what I’d been agonizing over for a week.
Most startup CEOs and leaders are creative and ambitious, which leads to lots of ideas, projects, or improvements.
When you dig in with an organized, collaborative approach, it’s quick and painless to discern what matters. No “no” required!
I’ve used this technique successfully hundreds of times with leaders and CEOs and have encouraged my teams to use it with me.
How have you said no to a boss before? What has worked or not worked? Share your learnings!
Saying no is an incredibly important life and business skill. Once you decide whether or not to say no, the real test happens.
Read MoreSaying no is an incredibly important life and business skill. Once you decide whether or not to say no, the real test happens.
Can you follow through and communicate the no?!?
How do you say no without hurting someone’s feelings or burning a bridge??
Many a “no” has turned into a “yes” because someone would rather suffer through a pointless meeting than suffer through saying “no” to that meeting. The real cost is not a boring meeting but the time lost on your most important goals. Don’t let this be you!
Having the right tools is key. Specific phrases and strategies make it easier to consistently say no when you want to.
Here are 7 real life ways to say no from folks who know (and “no”). Copy, test, tweak, customize, and practice!
Adam Grant is one of my favorite thinkers and a truly generous human. Lots of great nuggets.
A positive way to say no is to suggest an option that’s easier for you or more scalable.
Examples:
(Adam Grant touches on this too!)
A classic article from Teju Ravilochan. (I’ve also used the “friendly nudge” suggestion and it works brilliantly.)
Be funny:
Dear Mr. Adams, Thanks for your letter inviting me to join the committee of the Arts and Sciences for Eisenhower.
I must decline, for secret reasons.
Sincerely, E.B. White.
Be kind and honest:
Thanks so much for reaching out, [name]. I appreciate what you’re trying to do. One of our core values is militant transparency, so I’ll be fully honest. At the moment, I want to whole heartedly give myself to our core priorities, involving getting our new Institutes up and running, growing our team, and raising capital. That means I’m choosing to decline a lot of conversations I’d otherwise like to have; so I won’t be able to prioritize hopping on the phone with you.
If there’s something quick I can help you with or if you have a specific question, do send me an email about it and I’ll be happy to get back to you!
My best, Teju
Check out the training deck with slides on common situations in the Customer Success Starter Pack.
Mo is a business development genius. I’m going to try his “quantify it” strategy starting today! He has lots of great content on productivity and goal setting too.
When someone sends me a great “no” email, I jot it down for R&D (ripoff & duplicate) purposes.
A few favorites:
Here’s how he practices what he preaches:
Thanks for the invitation, but I’ll have to decline [your request for an interview]. I’ve talked about Ben [Graham] on a number of occasions, so my appraisal of him is already out there for people to see. In addition, every interview I grant results in about 20 more requests. That’s a geometric progression that I have no inclination to foster.
BOOM. A great one to end one. It’s clear, charming, and saved Buffett hours of time now and in the future. Mastering “no” is a powerful way to stay focused and achieve your biggest goals.
Most people (including me) are continually honing their “saying no” skills. The first part of saying no is to decide if you should say no. Duh. But this can be agonizing, time consuming, and stressful if you’re not clear and prepared. Here are 10 simple frameworks and prompts to help you quickly arrive at a yes or no.
Read MoreSaying no is one of the most important skills of successful founders and leaders. It helps you focus, gives you time to execute, and preserves your energy and mental health.
Simple, right?
If only it was!
It’s hard to say no because:
Most people (including me) are continually honing their “saying no” skills.
The first part of saying no is to decide if you should say no. Duh.
But this can be agonizing, time consuming, and stressful if you’re not clear and prepared.
Here are 10 simple frameworks and prompts to help you quickly arrive at a yes or no.
A classic from Derek Sivers.
A great question from Mo Bunnell. It’s easy to say yes when things are far away. Force yourself to consider it’s true importance rather than mentally defer the decision.
He’s a pretty smart dude. 😉
Most of us want to say yes by default. Flip the script. The “yes” has to be carefully considered and truly earned.
Avoid the “shoulds” whenever you can! It’s true for networking and beyond.
Book time for priorities like reading, thinking, or long term projects. Put them on your calendar and make them non-negotiable. You’ll quickly see what you actually have time for.
A.T. Gimbel reminds us to think about the tradeoffs. Make it concrete by identifying the time you’ll spend, the dollars you won’t earn, or the other goals you’ll be letting go of by saying yes to the wrong thing.
Just because you have the time doesn’t mean you should. Don’t miss out something great that comes up because you’re too busy with “eh” commitments.
What you’re really doing is saying “yes” to something else that’s more important. Spell it out if you need to: “I’m not saying no to my friend. I’m saying yes to my family.”
Does your calendar match your stated priorities? You’ll likely spot items that should be dropped or delegated. Constant vigilance is required to avoid “yes” creep!
Once you have clarity on yes or no, it’s time to put it into action.
Yes is easy. Everyone loves to hear yes.
But how can you say no in a kind or motivating way that doesn’t burn bridges?
For more k-no-wledge, check out specific phrases to use when saying “no” and a 3 step process to say no to your boss!
What other frameworks or prompts have you found to be helpful when deciding yes or no??
Entrepreneurs have big visions and big ambitions. It’s what makes them great. It’s how they build transformational businesses, overcome hardships, and create the future.
Read MoreEntrepreneurs have big visions and big ambitions. It’s what makes them great. It’s how they build transformational businesses, overcome hardships, and create the future.
When you have a huge vision, it can be hard to start small. You are bold and ready to take over the world! Yet when you drill down into the most successful companies, many had modest, manual beginnings.
Here are 5 fantastic resources to inspire you to start small.
By harnessing your vision into bite-sized first steps, you’ll be able to go faster and grow bigger in the long run.
What other resources have you used to start small but achieve big goals? Any success stories to share?
It was stressful to a high performing team who wanted to move customers to action and value. It also started to create an internal bottleneck — the team needed to close the loop on older accounts to take on new customers. Then, something happened that changed everything.
Read MoreAt Pardot, we had an amazing implementation team. We offered a complimentary 90 day onboarding and implementation process with a dedicated resource. The team was super responsive, knowledgable, and positive — everything you want to get your customers off to a great start.
A year or two in, the workload started to accumulate. An implementation team member would have 15-20 active implementations and 10-15 more clients who were “on pause”, “not ready to start,” “one or two more open items,” or “hesitant to transition out of onboarding.”
As a new B2B Saas technology, these were high-touch, fairly technical implementations. It was stressful to a high performing team who wanted to move customers to action and value. It also started to create an internal bottleneck — the team needed to close the loop on older accounts to take on new customers.
🪄 ✨Then, something happened that changed everything. 🪄 ✨
It wasn’t exorbitant – $2500 with a monthly software subscription of $1000 – a one-time charge of 2.5x a customer’s monthly cost. (Lots of fancy math on the O’Daily.)
It was enough that customers understood the value of the implementation. It created a sense of urgency and importance around those first 90 days. Customers wanted to get their money’s worth!
A priced implementation also provided a discounting vehicle for sales that didn’t impact recurring revenue. A sales rep could discount the implementation up to 50% without approval and up to 100% to get a deal over the finish line. Customers felt good about getting a high value item at a lower price. Pardot maintained the integrity of the monthly subscription fee – the most important long term revenue source.
Even when an implementation cost less because of a discount, the customer valued it more because of the price tag.
Put a price on the time and value delivered during implementation! Even if every implementation is complimentary or heavily discounted, include a dollar amount.
New customers will understand the value of what you’re offering and be highly motivated to make the most of their onboarding experience.
Note: Beware of customers asking for a la carte options to save money — it’s rarely in their (or your) best interest long term. Better to discount the full package than cut out important items.
The first few months are critical to long term retention and growth. If you don’t get traction early on, it’s hard to recover. Paid implementations create momentum and urgency out of the gate.
Paid implementations don’t have to be all or nothing.
Note: Be consistent with how you do this. Assume your customers are comparing quotes at the next industry happy hour. Because they are. 😉
See what the response is in the sales process. Track the customers through the onboarding process to measure the impact.
Iterate on the price, offering, and messaging as you learn what motivates and matters to your customers!
I’ve seen the evolution of customer implementations and onboarding at several B2B Saas companies and talked to many other Customer Success leaders in the industry. Here are 3 common stages to understand and be prepared for.
Read MoreI’ve seen the evolution of customer implementations and onboarding at several B2B Saas companies and talked to many other Customer Success leaders in the industry.
Here are 3 common stages to understand and be prepared for.
You’re a new kid on the scene.
This is the “Earn Their Business Every Month” playbook. It requires an emphasis on customer support, soliciting customer feedback, and quick product and customer experience iteration.
It’s not going to be your long term business model but it’s a great place to start.
You have happy reference customers, some great success stories, and you’re known for your outstanding customer service. (Yay for investing in customer experience early on!)
Your industry has matured and annual contracts with paid implementations are the norm. High touch implementations delivered by your team are not cheap. You start charging. Other vendors have started this also and customers are used to the contract line item. You’re starting to get requests for custom integrations, additional training or strategy help, and other work outside of your implementation scope.
Welcome to customer onboarding at scale! Partners handle most of the implementations and custom work. Many are also resellers. Their business is centered around providing strategy and consulting services for your industry and product. This works when demand is high, the market is big, and partners see the significant opportunity.
Salesforce is known for their partner programs. This or this could be you one day!
Every business is different. If you serve enterprise customers, you’ll likely do annual contracts and (large!) paid implementations from Day 1. If you’re a product-led or freemium model, your goal may be to enable a fully automated onboarding.
These stages are a starting place for discussion and planning.
The goal is to deliver the best service, with a healthy business model, in the way that’s right for you and your customers!
Here is my favorite customer success question to ask founders or leaders at a fast growing startup: What do your users get measured on? In other words, what is the one metric that is most important to their job success?
Read MoreHere is my favorite customer success question to ask founders or leaders at a fast growing startup:
What do your users get measured on?
In other words, what is the one metric that is most important to their job success?
Yes, those are helpful data points for the health of your business but your customers don’t care.
They care about doing their job better, hitting their metrics, and meeting their boss’s expectations.
How can you help your customer look like a rockstar?
If your team is optimizing for user activations or upgrade dollars, see if you can flip the internal conversation.
HUGE SHOUT OUT to Francis Cordon, the ultimate Customer Success Sensei. He introduced me to this simple, brilliant, underutilized concept and I’ve been sharing it ever since. Thank you, Paco! 🙏🙏🙏
#always-be-testing Do you like this week’s O’Daily shortie? Or do you prefer longer form? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
One important area to dive into is interview questions. What and how you ask questions determines the quality of response and enhances your vetting accuracy. I made many mistakes in this area to start but learned over time from experienced hiring managers as well as books like Laszlo Bock’s Work Rules.
Read MoreJudge people on what they did, not their self-assessed strengths. Gather insights by asking about the steps they took, their thought process, how they did the work, their learnings, and how they talk about the people or customers they worked with.
✅ THIS: Tell me about the most complex project that you managed.
❌ NOT: Can you do project management? Are you detail oriented?
By asking about real past experience, you reward doers over talkers.
Example follow up questions to dig in:
Everyone wants to fairly and accurately evaluate someone’s skills but unless you know how to, you default to measuring someone’s confidence about said skills.
By getting these questions right, you’ll reward folks who are highly skilled but humble or self-deprecating and filter out folks who overestimate their abilities or talk eloquently but lack execution.
✅ THIS: Create and save a draft email in this demo account.
✅ THIS: Walk me through the basic steps you’d take to send an email.
❌ NOT: Do you know how to send emails? Have you sent emails before?
Predefine your assessment criteria and then rate the candidate’s competency. And, of course, focus on a skill that’s key to the role.
Example key actions to score:
Examples of other skill-based activities:
Asking about the most, least, greatest, proudest, hardest will get the best from a candidate. As the interviewer, you can be assured that you’re comparing one candidate’s best to another candidate’s best.
🙂 GOOD: Tell me about a project that you worked on.
😁 BETTER: Tell me about a complex project that you worked on.
🥳 BEST: Tell me about the most complex project you worked on.
If you ask a generic question about “a project” instead of “the most important project,” you won’t know if their underwhelming answer is because of their lackluster experience or your lackluster question.
What’s a question the most meaningful question you could ask? (See what I did there? 😉)
Ask the same interview questions at the same stages across all candidates for the most fair and insightful interview process.
When I first started interviewing and hiring, I thought asking a variety of interview questions was a strength. Foolish Young Kathryn could flip through her mental interview question database and ask according to her daily whim.
Unfortunately, this was a terrible idea!!
Asking different questions, while interesting to the interviewer, means that you’re comparing different data across candidates. You could unintentionally ask one candidate easier or harder questions. Keep it apples to apples to make it fair and unbiased.
Bonus: you only have to remember a handful of questions instead of hundreds like Foolish Young Kathryn!
Give lots of time for a candidate to answer. Don’t jump in with the next question. Pause an extra moment to see if they have more to share.
What people share in the quiet moments can be really important.
Another strategy is to keep track of how much each person speaks. The candidate should be speaking the most (unless you’re answering their questions).
Listen deeply to what they say, how they say it, and what isn’t said.
When you ask the right questions and listen well, you will easily identify top talent and win them over. The experience feels fair, their expertise and abilities shine, and you can move forward quickly and confidently.
The right interview questions are a great start to a long relationship with your company!
To get started on finding your own powerhouse interns, here’s an overview of the process I’ve used to attract, vet, and retain the very best candidates.
Read MoreHiring great people is essential to growing and scaling your startup. Interns are a key part of this strategy, especially in the early days. Most founders I speak to are looking for one (or many 😉) interns at any given time.
I love interns and keep in touch with many that I worked with. Lots of them have gone onto great things. Why? Students applying to business jobs in college are incredible!!
Interns are one of the best values in business. Get top talent at a fraction of the price in exchange for offering them coaching and experience.
(Note: I’m a huge believer in always paying your interns fairly. It’s the right thing to do, you’ll get a wider talent pool, and they’re more likely to stay on or refer other interns. It’s still a great value compared to what you’ll pay for a recent grad of the same caliber.)
To get started on finding your own powerhouse interns, here’s an overview of the process I’ve used to attract, vet, and retain the very best candidates.
First things first. Align internally on the projects and tasks for the role and turn it into a job description.
A Great Job Description Will:
How To Promote:
Once your job posting is out in the world, it’s resume time. I try to review daily in batches and follow up quickly with top candidates.
What To Assess:
Look at all of these items holistically. If someone has a lower GPA but put themself through school and started a company, that’s pretty awesome. If they have a high GPA but no other activities or work experience, they may not have the practical work skills for a startup.
When on the fence, I usually give the candidate the benefit of the doubt and set up a video chat.
It’s a quick intro on both sides. You can learn a lot in a short time.
What To Assess:
Example Questions:
Great resume. Excellent video chat skills. Now it’s time to see — can they do the work?
This can be a coding exercise, a work sample, or — my favorite — a take-home activity that involves writing, thinking, and light research.
This step also gives the candidate a chance to understand what the day-to-day work is like.
Example Questions:
What To Assess:
(Note: Answers don’t need to be perfect! Especially for interns. Problem-solving skills, effort, and coachability are key. )
If they’ve made it to this stage, you’re getting close. Here’s where you drill in on specifics or concerns, meet others on the team, and continue to win them over!
What To Assess:
Example Questions:
Address their questions throughout but especially at this stage. Understand their priorities or objections and speak to those. Always be closing!
Speed is your friend. Big firms (or indecisive startups) move slowly. College students want to be done and get back to their other day job. Make it easy for them to choose you.
This can be as simple as a Google Doc with a company logo that you tweak for each new hire. (Convert to a PDF before sending.)
Information To Include:
Remember - this isn’t just a transactional document or contract. The tone and content of your offer letter will help close the deal!
Now that you’ve got them onboard, here’s how to keep them happy and make the most of the experience for you and them.
Top Strategies For Happy Interns:
BONUS - Future Full-Time Hires!
Interns are a fantastic pipeline for full-time hires. Do you have an amazing intern and want to snag them after graduation? Make an offer as soon as you can. Lock it in before they start getting recruited or think about applying elsewhere.
1. Give yourself time to calibrate your talent compass.
It may take 10-20 candidates before you get a feel for what “good” looks like. Over time, the “A” players will stand out quickly.
2. Be kind and win people over at every stage.
At Pardot, we got referrals from candidates who didn’t get hired but they had such a positive experience in the interview process, they told their friends to apply. It was one of the best compliments.
The interview process is nerve-racking and time consuming for candidates. Being organized, thoughtful, and making candidates feel good, regardless of the outcome, is a powerful (and free!) flywheel for your company’s recruiting and growth engine!
What other strategies have you used to hire great interns? Do you have other steps or recommendations for the process?
Now that I’ve raised money and have passionate customers – what’s next? How do I build a unicorn, think like a unicorn, execute like a unicorn? Here are 4 (more) common themes and strategies from unicorn founders to guide you and inspire you along your journey! 🦄
Read MoreLast week, I shared Part 1: 4 Strategies Unicorn Founders Embrace. This week – surprise — we’re sharing Part 2 with more unicorn founder strategies.
These posts were inspired by an early stage founder with big goals who asked great questions:
Now that I’ve raised money and have passionate customers – what’s next? How do I build a unicorn, think like a unicorn, execute like a unicorn?
Here are 4 (more) common themes and strategies from unicorn founders to guide you and inspire you along your journey! 🦄
Spend time crafting clear, concise:
Then talk about those things ALL. THE. TIME.
Why? These cornerstone elements will help:
Infinite Giving does an amazing job:
Because they are simple, easy to remember, and communicated weekly by their awesome CEO, Karen Houghton, I can repeat them to anyone (aka future customers or hires) and I understand exactly what they do. This clarity helps throughout the sales funnel, hiring funnel, and company growth!
David Cummings has long been a proponent of culture and core values with some great, specific blog posts if you want more.
One trend I’ve seen from unicorn founders – they have a bias for action and make decisions quickly. Speed is a key advantage especially against incumbents or other up-and-comers in the market.
3 Keys To Moving Fast:
In other words, avoid a CEO bottleneck.
A bonus of this approach is more time and energy for you to spend on hard-to-undo, strategic decisions.
Kyle Porter, CEO of Salesloft, shared this advice at Salesloft in the Studio (43:00) and David Cummings’ also recounted it.
The concept is simple. Learn aggressively so you can grow faster than your startup is growing. Set up systems like peer groups, executive coaching, and daily business reading to turbo charge your personal growth. More suggestions here.
Here’s the thing…
Every founder, no matter how successful, has something they’re insecure about. Unicorn founders are not exempt from imposter syndrome.
I’ve talked to wildly successful founders, who exude public confidence, and privately tell me things like:
Why am I sharing this?
If you are feeling worried or insecure, that doesn’t mean you can’t do it.
It means you’re a perfectly normal unicorn founder!
Go to your place of resilience and strength:
And then keep going.
Amazing things are ahead! 🚀🦄
What other strategies do unicorn founders embrace? What have you seen or experienced with unicorn founders that helps them build?
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